How to help when a hand is held out

Because it is that giving time of year and because the Midwestern winters can be so tough on all of us, we feel an extra twinge when we see people asking for a handout. What should a person of faith do when approached by those in need?

Eileen Ciezki, director of social ministry at Gesu parish in downtown Milwaukee, said the parish’s response to parishioners asking what to do about the problem comes from a program given by Red Cross psychiatric nurses
several years ago.

“They gave us three options,” Ciezki said. “You can say, ‘No.’ You can talk with people and give them a bus ticket. Or you can take them to breakfast and get them something to eat. I always tell people it’s okay to say, “No’.” Gesu keeps copies of the “blue card” at all entrances to the church and encourages parishioners to carry one with them for such situations. The card lists shelters and food pantries in the area, as well as other resources, such as the free clothing available at a nearby central city church.

“As a parish we take a gentle approach,” Ciezki said. “Around here we don’t have a sign up that says ‘don’t give money.’ Different people have different feelings about that.”

Gesu Pastor Fr. Peter Etzel, SJ said that listening to a person making a request for food or money often is more important than feeling compelled to fulfill the
request.

“Oftentimes the stories and the ways in which folks may be asking for money are very similar – my car broke down, I have to get to Chicago for a funeral, I’ve just been evicted from my house and I need bus fare to get to the shelter, I have a job and I get my first paycheck on Monday. The reality is, one still doesn’t know whether the story is truthful or it lacks truth,” Etzel said. “I think the main thing is always to listen to the person. Try to make a judgment from there.”

Etzel said he sometimes carries bus tickets (which do not expire) or fast food gift certificates to hand out as needed.

“I always think, though, if someone, for whatever reason, needs to beg, they’re desperate,” he said.

Gesu has a meal program on the first, fourth and fifth Saturdays of the month which serves anywhere from 90 to 120 people, usually men, Ciezki said. St. Benedict the Moor has an evening meal program, and the Cathedral of St. John
the Evangelist takes care of lunch.

There was a gap on Sunday mornings until Gesu parishioners stepped in to take care of it. The parish offers Sunday breakfast bags beginning at 8:30 a.m. Parishioners Paul and Deb Stollenwerk initially underwrote the project, but since Gesu’s social ministry committee adopted it, the family and their young children now serve as shoppers. The children help pack the 30 or so bags given out every Sunday, and their grandparents deliver them to the church. Nonperishable such as cheese and sausage sticks, juice boxes and trail mix are included, and a Gesu blue card is placed in each one as well.

Ciezki quoted Matthew 14:16 as the program’s underlying principle: “Jesus said to them, there is no need for them to go away; give them some food yourself.” 

If you’re approached by someone asking for food or money:

Remember it’s fine to say, “No.” Learn the names and locations of neighborhood agencies that help with food, shelter and transportation.

Don’t be offended if your donation is not used in the way you expected. The most pressing need anyone has is for cash.

Try to show benevolence and generosity rather than annoyance. And pray for them later that day. Believe there is a divine reason that God prompted the person to pick you.

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