We often think about the time our oldest son John told us that he was thinking of becoming a priest instead of a doctor. When he switched his major from pre-med science to theology and business in his junior year at the University of Notre Dame, he told us that he was attracted to the priesthood for some of the same reasons he had found the medical profession appealing. The focus would change from people's physical health to their spiritual health.

We did not know the Jesuits before our son entered the Society of Jesus eight years ago. In July 1992, shortly after John decided to forego a job offer in the secular world and become a Jesuit, we met with two priests at the Jesuit Novitiate in St. Paul, Minnesota. We had questions about how John would repay his college loans and the timing of his entering the Society. The communication about our concerns was affirming and non judgmental. The Jesuits answered our questions and logically sorted out our concerns with empathy, kindness and caring.

During the two years John spent at the novitiate, the Jesuits' caring and understanding of the human spirit impressed us. We occasionally invited the novices to our house for dinner. We got to know three novice classes on a personal level, along with the men who would direct their formation. We shared life experiences over the dinner table, seeing close up what each novice brought to the Society. In hearing about their hospital experiences and their pilgrimages, we felt the deep commitment these young men had to their new way of life. At each vow ceremony we met more men of the province and could see how their lives shouted the words from "Anthem" by Tom Conry: "We are Christ for one another."

At the same time, as parents of a Jesuit, we were invited to the Jesuit Partnership appreciation gatherings and Masses even though we were not donors. After Mass at the first gathering we met other Jesuit parents in attendance. Recognition of us as parents of a Jesuit comforted us and made us feel like we were part of an extended family with a long tradition in the Church.

When John was in Chile and other South American countries for over two years studying philosophy and theology, the Jesuits communicated by phone and letter. The separation and loneliness we felt during our son's absence was softened by the contacts we had through the Jesuit Partnership gatherings. There always seemed to be an awareness of how our son was doing.

The kind words and inquiries gave us affirmation that we were cared about as well.

In our 34 years of married life we have made an effort, like the Jesuits, to "be there" for others. Perhaps it was our small-town upbringing where neighbors routinely helped neighbors in need. We were very fortunate to be raised in families where giving service to Church and community was actively practiced.

As our children grew they saw in us a commitment to carrying God into every facet of our lives. We taught religion in the hope that children would learn the importance of caring for others. We coached sports in a way that encouraged players to know that excelling, while worthwhile, is not as important as building character. Our children saw first- hand our willingness to readily drop everything to be available for those in need.

We see our ongoing association with the Jesuit Partnership as an opportunity to be present for others by financially supporting the Jesuits who dedicate their lives to being Christ to untold numbers of people. We have made the mission of the Jesuits our first priority by having our monthly donation automatically deducted from our checking account, a convenient process called electronic funds transfer. This scheduled transfer of funds is one of the ways we support our son and the Jesuit mission to which he has committed his life. It is a convenient method for us because we don't have to remind ourselves to give regularly.

Just as our son has learned from us the importance of being present to others,we have learned a new way to join him in the spirit of that work.