Being a Jesuit for 43 years has given me a perspective on life and spirituality I would not trade. But when I was a Jesuit for just 43 days, I was looking around for some tangible way “to be spiritual and to be a Jesuit.” At the novitiate we celebrated Church feast days, and I learned about the North American Martyrs, particularly two of them, Fr. Isaac Jogues, SJ and Fr. Jean de Brébeuf, SJ. Both were missionaries to the Huron nation in the mid-17th century and were captured and tortured by the Iroquois.

Fr. Karl Voelker, SJ entertains young parishioners at a parish event.

As I recall the stories, Jean de Brébeuf suffered heroically and died a hero to the Indians. Isaac Jogues was captured in a different spot by a different band. He was turned over to the women of the camp who tortured the enemy less harshly, but no less effectively, than the men. No less effectively because Isaac’s right hand was mutilated, and he almost lost his life before being ransomed by the Dutch and sent back to France.

There a remarkable thing happened. Isaac prayed for his persecutors. He slowly regained his health and wanted to go back to his mission even though the dangers of recapture and death were real. Here was my inspiration. In Isaac I saw a man who could face trials even as he gave of himself to others.

A few years later, while I was studying theology in Toronto, Canada, that inspiration was renewed and deepened. I visited the Shrine of the North American Martyrs in Midland, Ontario, where the Jesuits had established a mission outpost on Georgian Bay. In 1970 a Canadian Jesuit anthropologist researched the site and discovered the graves of de Brébeuf and Gabriel Lalemant, another of the martyrs. I made pilgrimages to that site twice during my studies, and each time it moved me greatly and reminded me of Isaac Jogues.“No greater love has a man than to lay down his life for his friends” (John 15.13). Could I do that?

Isaac’s incredible capacity for love and his inner strength were no doubt gifts from God. But to be gifted is not always enough. Our ability to apply those gifts as we struggle with everyday life challenges us all in different ways.

Since theology, I have been a high school teacher, a parish priest, a minister to a Jesuit community, a campus minister in high school, a retreat house chaplain and retreat director, and finally a pastor in Mankato, Minnesota. I was terrified, actually, in coming back to Minnesota to minister as pastor, because the people here are so holy. Yes, they walk on water for five months of the year.

That was a joke. In all seriousness, though, my fear was real, because I had never been a pastor and knew it could be extremely demanding work. Being pastor for six years now has been full of challenge, stress, and sometimes trials: facing financial decisions that are “no win” because the money just isn’t there to keep everything; being at the side of those who are dying or have suffered the loss of a loved one to a tragic death; trying to minister to people who have been deeply hurt and who are filled with anger and resentment; and, most recently, the trial of explaining and ministering to the parish during the sexual abuse crisis.

These are my challenges. Yours might involve caring for an ill, elderly parent, putting up with an impossible boss, struggling with a difficult child, working through troubled areas of a marriage. Every vocation, secular or religious, has its difficult periods. So what do you do when that difficult period comes? I do exercises, both physical and spiritual.

This is my spiritual exercise: I take my joys and sorrows to Jesus, often at the foot of the cross. As I pray there quietly, or anxiously, and if I stay there long enough, the graceful question comes – “Will you bear this cross with me?”When in love I answer “Yes!” I am freed from sorrow or anxiety;and I am eager to go back to “my mission field.” I wonder if this is how Isaac Jogues prayed and was answered with a loving grace that gave him the strength to return to New France?

I am constantly in awe of the people in my parish who have suffered deeply and still are optimistic about life.When I talk with them, there is always the ability to see that others are in tougher situations and the ability to let Jesus be with them, heal them and strengthen them. This is the same grace that Isaac was given, that I am given, and that we all need at some time.

Isaac, you knew what you were doing when you returned to New France.

You did not return alone.

Jesus and you carried that cross together. Thanks for being an inspiration to me, my brother Isaac.