Jesuit Journeys
Winter 2007

A Soliloquy from Late October

By Fr. Charlie Baumann, SJ

The white throated sparrows have come back to the Jesuit garden for the winter. What they see in the garden to come back to is beyond me. The leaves have fallen off the plants, all the perennials look like dead sticks, the waterfall will soon close down for the season lest its waters freeze in the pipes.

It’s that time of year again. The stores are filled with Halloween costumes and candy, while the neighboring shelves are being stocked with Christmas toys. By the first of November the radio will be playing Christmas carols, and by the first of December the appointment calendar will be overwhelmed with office Christmas parties and perennial gift exchanges.

Then it all ends on Dec. 26. The radios forget that it’s the octave of Christmas. The toys and greeting cards are for sale at half price. And the question of the season, “Will Milwaukee have a white Christmas this year?” will have already been answered.

To tell the truth I abhor this season because of all the decisions it requires me to make. What gifts should I buy for whom? On which cards should I write notes; or should I just ditto a “Christmas letter” for everyone. The gifts need to be sent with store receipts so the recipients can exchange them on Dec. 26 for what they really wanted. The Christmas letter becomes part of a personal history, a personal archive making sure that a middle-aged person (or have I surpassed middle-age?) has lived another year and the variance from last year has been noticed and written about – a painful project when one is on the downhill side of life.

There has to be something to this season besides panic, rush, and pained smiles. What is that for me?

There are a couple of things. To mark my mid-November birthday I have the custom of dining out with another Jesuit (and we do the same on his birthday.) Because I’m an introvert in a community of 50, dining with just one other person is a real treat. To mark the Holy Days, Nov. 1 and Dec. 8, I spend extra time in prayer and endeavor to walk outside and to notice whatever God brings to my attention. Ditto for Dec. 24 and 25 -- as much as I am able.

Why, you may ask, is time spent with God and the same special friend year after year so redemptive of the season? It has to do with becoming salt for someone. Let me explain! Before I entered the Society of Jesus, I was enrolled in graduate school and lived with two other grad students off campus. On Thanksgiving one house mate roasted a turkey and prepared dressing according to his mother’s recipe. The other man and I added our favorite dishes, and we invited many friends over for a great feast.

When I entered the Jesuits and my turkey-roasting roommate moved to California, the memory of these dinners lingered. He kept up the custom of cooking a turkey each Thanksgiving morning and inviting friends over for a feast. I kept up the custom of phoning him each Thanksgiving morning. For over 30 years we have shared our successes and failures, our hopes and our doubts – between bastings of the turkey. It is because of our faithfulness to this custom that we have become salt for each other.

“You are like salt for all mankind. But if salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again.”

Matthew 5:13

Salt, as you know, is a basic substance and a necessity of life. It is a preservative and a flavor enhancer.

In the darkness of winter, in a season that can bring many pressures to bear, a little dash of salt can make all the difference.